September 19, 2011   42 notes
For the first time in my twenty years of living, I laid in bed with my dad and sister as he told us stories about his childhood in Vietnam and the beginning of his freedom in America. There is so much struggle in the history of my parent’s lives that I was unaware of and that I am still unaware of. There is so much in general that I do not know about the two wonderful people who gave birth and dedicated their lives to my sister and I. Why did I just start asking now? Up until the end of my first year in college, my relationship with my dad had always been very topical. We would only talk about things related to my education, and all I ever felt from him was pressure. It took me too long to finally translate these feelings into the love and concern they were intended to be. My dad supports me in all of my decisions, comforting me even in my times of failure. How could I not realize it earlier? I have the greatest admiration for my father, and no man in my life could ever measure up to the man my dad is. Diagnosed with Stage IV Colon Cancer in 2007 and up to three years to live? He is still alive in 2011. Given at most three months to live in the beginning of June this year? AND the doctor was pushing that estimation? We are reaching the end of September, and he is still alive. It is hard to believe that even in his condition my dad is still fighting so strongly, and although I am thankful for every day he is with us, the cancer is very evidently starting to win the war against him. Death is a terrible waiting game. Will I be as brave as my father when the time comes? My biggest regret will always be forming that father-daughter bond a little too late, for blindly and selfishly choosing UCLA over Cal, for starting to end my phone calls home with an “I love you” only a month ago when I should have started two years ago, for starting to show my dad how much I truly love and appreciate him in the last months of his life when I had my whole entire life before to do it. I love you, daddy. You will always and forever be the #1 man in my life.

For the first time in my twenty years of living, I laid in bed with my dad and sister as he told us stories about his childhood in Vietnam and the beginning of his freedom in America. There is so much struggle in the history of my parent’s lives that I was unaware of and that I am still unaware of. There is so much in general that I do not know about the two wonderful people who gave birth and dedicated their lives to my sister and I. Why did I just start asking now?

Up until the end of my first year in college, my relationship with my dad had always been very topical. We would only talk about things related to my education, and all I ever felt from him was pressure. It took me too long to finally translate these feelings into the love and concern they were intended to be. My dad supports me in all of my decisions, comforting me even in my times of failure. How could I not realize it earlier?

I have the greatest admiration for my father, and no man in my life could ever measure up to the man my dad is. Diagnosed with Stage IV Colon Cancer in 2007 and up to three years to live? He is still alive in 2011. Given at most three months to live in the beginning of June this year? AND the doctor was pushing that estimation? We are reaching the end of September, and he is still alive. It is hard to believe that even in his condition my dad is still fighting so strongly, and although I am thankful for every day he is with us, the cancer is very evidently starting to win the war against him. Death is a terrible waiting game. Will I be as brave as my father when the time comes?

My biggest regret will always be forming that father-daughter bond a little too late, for blindly and selfishly choosing UCLA over Cal, for starting to end my phone calls home with an “I love you” only a month ago when I should have started two years ago, for starting to show my dad how much I truly love and appreciate him in the last months of his life when I had my whole entire life before to do it.

I love you, daddy. You will always and forever be the #1 man in my life.

  1. simplystacey reblogged this from koreanwannabe
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  7. yabadabadai said: I love this post! I definitely love hearing my dad’s past. Always brings tears to my eyes aha
  8. peachieee said: you have one of the warmest hearts i know of. i love you, winnie! head up :)
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